


Nobodys Home

by Unicorn_scissorluv



Series: Show me the Scary Parts [1]
Category: Victorious (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bullying, Depression, F/F, Help, Sad, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Soft Jade West
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:28:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 19,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25985143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unicorn_scissorluv/pseuds/Unicorn_scissorluv
Summary: Something has happened to Tori. She has changed dramatically. No longer the happy go lucky smiling singer. she is sad and lost and always red eyes cos of crying.no one asks,seems to notice or careWell all except 1 person who shouldn't get it but does. A Jori StoryTW. Depression, self harm and bullying
Relationships: Tori Vega/Jade West
Series: Show me the Scary Parts [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1924657
Comments: 16
Kudos: 57





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Victorious](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Victorious/gifts).



> This is much longer then the majority of my fan fics. I am trying my best to write a longer one. Its more angst then my others and it involves bullying, self harm etc. So trigger warnings apply. Please look after yourself and if any topics raised in this fic affects you in anyway please seek help.

Intro/Plot Synopis

This is a story staring  
Tori Vega

And Jade West 

As our main chracters of course.  
Usually I don't write an intro for my fan fics but this is fitting for this time.

TW will be used throughout as this story contains mention of self harm,depression,sadness,loneliness and possibly hospitilasation and therapy.

As I do want as many people to read this story, I don't want to trigger anyone at all, so if any of the topics in this fic trigger anything personal, please don't read as I don't want to intentionally hurt any one and remember if u need to talk, my inbox is always open.

Basically this story is about, bullying, depression, how words from people you thought u can trust affects you in the end. And being saved by someone you never expect.

The chapters are titled from songs that I feel fit the fan fic well.

I will update as many chapters and as often as I can 

I appreciate all your patience

Take care of yourselves xx


	2. Prologue- Faded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just the beginning

Where are you now? Was it all in my fantasy? Where are you now? Were you only imaginary?'

Tori finds the picture of her grandmother, running her hand along the glass of the photo frame and remembering her grandmother's touch, she whispers the lines of the song.  
Oh how she wishes that she was still alive to help her through this tough time.

'You were the shadow to my light, can you feel us,another star you fade away'.

It does feel like she has faded away. Tori whispers to herself. 

They say it should get better in time. But 2 years and 6 months later it still hurts like it was yesterday when Tori lost her grandma, when she passed away.

And from then on her life went spiralling out of control. 

She lost more then she ever thought possible. The friends she had since she was 2, turned their backs on her. They got in with the wrong crowd when they swore they wouldn't and since she has been at Hollywood Arts, they have been sending mean text messages to her. 

All accusing her of leaving Sherwood, cos of Danny, her ex boyfriend. Saying that she used them, her old friends,Mollie, Lily,Cara,Amber and Zoe as well as her using Danny the ex boyfriend.

They even said that she wasn't talented enough to get into Hollywood Arts. That she just went to that school to avoid Danny and only because her older sister Trina was there. It's just been rumour after rumour. And Trina hasn't even seen any of it, let alone tried to help Tori at all.

The one person that would have helped Tori was her grandma, but she's gone. Its been a full 2 years and 6 months yet it still dosnt feel real. Her grandma knew everything. She knew Tori's old friends. They always used to hang out at Tori's Grandmas place when Tori's parents were out of town and Tori and Trina lived at their grandma's. 

Tori didn't even know what she did wrong. She never even planned on going to Hollywood Arts, it was just by luck Trina's tongue got swollen and she filled in for her at the Big Showcase and got accepted in after she performed 'Make It Shine'  
As Tori wasn't that popular at Sherwood, she didn't think it'll matter that much when she left. 

She only told her closest friends, packed up her things and left.

So why does she get all this hate?

Stop being a using little bitch, Tori Vega, you are so untalented, you can't sing, they only accepted you cos they feel sorry for you, cos of your parents that even they don't want to spend time with you,that's why they always leave you, no one wants you or be your friend cos all you ever do is use people. So stop it  
Stop smiling,stop singing and stop being you. Lots of hate  
~~Amber and Regina  
PS by the way I hope you have a terrible birthday.

Tori read the message and fell straight on her bed. 'Why is this happening, why did I lose my closest friend to the head cheerleader that hates my guts, when they promised they would never hang with that crowd.

Tori cried until she fell asleep.  
Worst 16th birthday ever.  
\------‐----------------------------------------------------------  
Jade's pov:

Usually I hate when someone is so happy, especially Vega. But she hasn't been for a long time. Not even today, when it's her 16th birthday. She only came to school for first period, Sikowitz's class, then she grumbled about having a sore stomach then went home.

It was obvious she was crying. She had red eyes and all. Her hair was all messy , she didn't have that ugly smile on her face, she wasn't talking today, at all (pity, I couldn't imitate it today, haha)

And this has been going on for days.

I would have thought that at least, on her birthday, she would be happy, but she looked 10 times worse.

I need to know what happened with Vega. But don't you dare tell anyone, or I'll stab you with scissors. 

But I only wanna know so I can tease her about it.....of course.


	3. Chapter 1- Nobody's Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Jori drama

Tori's POV:  
Tori woke up after a 2 hour nap.

Tori looked at the text message again. And even though she had already seen it, she still couldn't believe her eyes. How could Amber do this? Why did she decide to join the cheerleaders?

When Tori left, they promised that they would never, ever join forces with Regina and her cheer minions, Lena and Susan.  
But now Amber is sending text messages with them. Why?

Tori read the text message again:

Stop being a using little bitch, Tori Vega, you are so untalented, you can't sing, they only accepted you cos they feel sorry for you, cos of your parents Tahts even they don't want to spend time with you,that's why they always leave you, no one wants you or be your friend cos all you ever do is use people. So stop it  
Stop smiling,stop singing and stop being you. Lots of hate  
~~Amber and Regina  
PS by the way I hope you have a terrible birthday.

'Did she deserve this?'She thought she left on good terms with the girls and even if they did fight, they would always bounce back to being the way they were. 

She even said goodbye to Regina on the way out, on her last day at Sheerwoord, and wished her luck if she wanted to date Danny.

Tori knew this was going to happen. Once she left and made new friends at Hollywood Arts, such as Andre, the closest friend. Along with Cat, Beck, Robbie, Rex and hey, she would even count Jade as a friend. But Tori still tried to maintain constant contact with her old friends.

But stuff changed this past year and a half. Text messages got shorter, Tori was the one who made all the effort to reach out and if she didn't text she wouldn't hear from them again. 

But the thing that put the icing on the cake was when she got kicked out of their group chat without any warning at all. That was when the bullying started. Via DM's on The Slap.  
First it was just snide remarks and comments on her Pictures. And then it was the messages. But this one was by far the worst, of course it hurt. Its Tori's birthday after all.

'I couldn't tell you, why she felt that way, but she felt it everyday, and I couldn't help her,I just watched her make the same mistakes again.

Tori felt betrayal but part of her thought, that maybe it was her fault. Her fault why they turned their backs on her. Why they cut contact. Why she got kicked out of the same group chat they had since they we're 11 and all had their first smart phone.

Why am I so terrible at making and keeping friends, maybe Jade is right? I don't deserve her as a friend either.

'What's wrong, what's wrong now? Too many, too many problems, don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.

Maybe it was true, what Amber and Regina said, that I am a user and untalented and people feel a sorry for me all cos my parents are shitty. Maybe I am nothing but a friendless loser. Who shouldn't bother trying to have friends cos no one likes me anyways.

Tori went online to The Slap to see if anyone wrote a message for her birthday, on The Slap timeline.

Jade sent her a private message~ Vega!! Happy birthday, if u tell anyone I sent u this I'll stab u with my scissors✂️✂️

Tori laughed at that, typical Jade.

And 4 messages on her timeline from the gang. And Sinjin....weird but still nice.

Happy birthday Tori, love from Andre,you are my best singing buddy and the best at making Belgium cocoa.

Happyyyyyy Birthdayyyyy Toriiiiii yayyyyyyyyy,love Catttttttt

Of course Cat would write something like that, Tori chuckled to her self.

Happy birthday to the pretty Torey,love Robbie and Rex. That made Tori laugh and roll her eyes at the way they spelt her name.

Happy birthday Tori, your so pretty and u smell good always, love Sinjin.  
Umm weird, Tori sighed, I'll delete that.

But as she scrolled down the list of people who left her a birthday message, not one person from Sheereood left a message. They didn't even txt her. Tori felt hurt and betrayed. This was the first year she had no contact from them on her special day. Well all except that mean text message. 

The only messages were the ones from Cat ,Robbie&Rex and weird old Sinjin.  
Even Beck didn't write one, maybe afraid Jade would see and get mad.

But Tori was more hurt that not one of the friends she had since she was 2 sent her a message,share their pictures full of memories online or even wrote a happy birthday message on her timeline on The Slap.

Tori didnt want to be alone. She wanted someone, anyone to talk to, to help her get her mind off the pain she feels. She paces her room around and around. Trying to think, trying to work out what in the world she should do? She needs to find Trina. Not to tell her. But to have Trina distract her about whatever crazy scheme she's up to now. 

But there was no sign of Trina at all.

She walked out of her room and looked in the hallway and in the bathroom that is connected to to the their rooms but no sign of Trina at all.

Tori began to cry. She walked out of the hallway, crying,trying to find Trina anywhere in the house. To tell her all that happened. But she was no where to be found.

'She wants to go home, but nobodys home, it's where she lies, broken inside'.  
'With no place to go, no place to go, to dry her eyes, broken inside'.

'Why is Trina always out and I'm always alone in this house?', Tori felt so alone that she just cried and cried. 

Her chest heaving heavily as she felt so much pain, she felt so alone and didn't know what to do.... but then another text message came through.

People who are born in May are people who shouldn't be trusted, especially with names starting with T

It was a meme but it was shared on The Slap on Amber's page that she was tagged in a post with Regina, Lena, Susan, Mollie, Lily and Cara. Regina posted it, of course.

But the thing that upset Tori the most was the message attached with the meme. Was the fact Regina captioned it with:

We all know who, been a user since she was 2 and it's been ongoing ever since. She is just a waste of space, no wonder why her parents leave her and her bratty untalented sister all the time. The Vega's are just a waste of air.

Tori couldn't believe her eyes. How could they do that to her? And it was a public post. For the whole world to see. Tori just hopes that no one from Hollywood Arts has seen it.

But that thought scared her. Scared her so much that now she couldn't stop the tears from streaming down her face. She was crying and crying and couldn't stop. She didn't want her new friends finding out how much she was hated by her old friends,and for what? Just because she left Sheerwood. Was she really that terrible? Was she really that bad of a person?

Tori decided to write something, finally after weeks of silence, 

She decided to write on The Slap:

Nothing last forever. Not even yourself. With the world not seeing that you are hurting. With everyone leaving. Maybe it's best if you(i) just disapear💭💭  
\-----------------------------------------------------------


	4. Chapter 2 - I just watched her make the same mistakes again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of bullying and self harm implied.More Jori angst. Apperances of the gang from Hollywood Arts.

Jade's POV:

As Jade drove home from school she couldn't help herself thinking of Tori. Of wondering why she left school so quick. Why she had been acting distant and weird lately....well weirder then usual.

Walking through her front door, Jade scrolled through The Slap and came across Tori's latest status.

Nothing last forever. Not even yourself. With the world not seeing that you are hurting. With everyone leaving. Maybe it's best if you(i) disapear💭💭

'Umm, okay, that's a bit weird coming from Vega, didn't know she had the creativity to write something like that.'

But then Jade had a scary thought, was Tori serious? Does she really want to disapear? I mean she had been acting a lot more different then usual. But this is different and dark, even for her. She is usually so chirpy.  
And why am I thinking and caring so much about her anyways? Jade groaned.

Then Jade looked at the post again. Come to think of it,her friends from Sheerwood hadnt post anything on her birthday timeline either. Not Mollie, Lily, Cara, Zoe or Amber.

'Hmm, that's weird!', Jade thought to herself. Because they have always written on Tori's timeline. Ever since Jade had started to follow Tori on The Slap. 

'But then again.....they haven't posted anything on her timeline in months.  
Well that is so weird!', Jade exclaimed again. But she quickly realized that she is thinking about Tori. 

Why is she so concerned about her? Why does this affect her so much that she is wondering why Tori's old friends havent posted on her timeline?'.

Jade decided to go to bed. All freaked out that she surprisingly cares so much about Tori.

I'll ask the rest of the gang tomorrow at school, Jade decided to herself  
\------------------------------------------------------------  
As Jade walked in through the big doors of the school she spots Andre.

'Oh good he's by himself, perfect time to ask him without other people hearing me'. Jade thought to herself.

'Hey Andre, I don't know if you've looked at Tori's slap page. But did you see what she wrote last night?'

'Hey Jade, and yes I did, but I'm sure it's just a new song she's writing, I'm sure it's just lyrics'. Andre replied.

'Yea but Vega wouldn't write a song that dark, something is wrong...well unless she is trying to copy me with the dark songs', Jade decides to add so it dosnt look like she cares about Tori that much.

'Dang girl, I don't think she'll do that', Andre replied.

'Well your her best friend, arn't you, go ask her if she's okay', Jade demanded to Andre.

'Okay, okay, I will when I see her'.

'And if she dosnt come to school today, you will text her as soon as you can, got it?', Jade said as scary as possible and she walked off, down the hallway.

'Dang girl!', Andre says.

'I heard that!!!', Jade screamed behind her, 'and you better do what I say or else!!'.

The bell rang for first period, it was study hall. So Jade went straight to the library where she usually sits with Cat.

Jade walks to the usual table, in the back corner, where the bubbly red head was already sitting with her giraffe, Mr Long Neck, and typing on a laptop, giggling to herself.  
Well at least Cat had a second laptop on the desk next to her, assuming it was her's Jade sat down and looked at Cat.

'Hiiiiiiiiiiiii Jadey!!', Cat exclaimed happily.

'Yea Hi, Cat, look I need to ask you something really important okay,so i really need you to concentrate and not get distracted, it's important, it's about Tori'. Jade said as sternly as she could so the red head could understand she is not messing around.

'Oh Toriiiiii Vegaaaaa, what about Toriiiiii, ooo are we gonna have a party for her birthday, I love birthdays and parties, except we can't have parties at my house any more cos my broth....'. 

'Cat!!!!, I told you not to get distracted, it has nothing to do with a party or your brother, okay, now focus or no ice cream tonight when I take you home', Jade snaps trying to get Cat to focus.

'Okayyyyy, I'm soryyyyyyy!!', Cat replied. 'Tell me what's up pleasyyyyy'.

'Will you promise you'll listen and stay on topic?', Jade said sternly.

'Yes Jade, now tell me!!!', Cat replies.

'Okay, do you think Tori has changed lately, like you know, Tori is not acting like she normally does , is she Cat?' Jade asked.

'Yes, well she hasn't sang for a while and she is hardly at school anymore and she didn't even reply to my birthday message yesterday, I thought she was mad at me cos she hasn't talked to me', Cat replied looking worried.

'Yea that's what I thought too', Jade agreed, I asked Andre to talk to.....'  
But Jade got interrupted by Beck walking towards their table.

'Hey babe, what's up with you, telling Andre to talk to Tori, didn't know you were so concerned???', Beck says with a kiss on Jades cheek.

'First off, how did you know that?, and second of all how would you even know that I'm concerned, which I'm not by the way , I just want to know why Vega posted that status last night. Did you see it?' Jade replies angrily pushing Beck away. 'Just sit down, go on The Slap and read the status!!', Jade demanded.

'Dang girl, I will. Just wait, Beck replied as he tapped open The Slap on his cell phone.

'Hiiiii Beck!!', Cat interrupts happily, 'Did you know my brother can't have parties, or we can't have parties at my house no more, cos one time my brother....'.

'Cat!!!, no one cares what your wackjob brother did, Beck needs to read Tori's status, remember?', Jade said angrily.

'Well for someone who isn't concerned, you are making sure that Cat stays on topic, babe, you know what she's like yet you want us all to focus on Tori, why do you care so much?'. Beck asks concerned putting his arm around Jade.

'I said I'm not fucking concerned, I just want to know why she posted that status, is she trying to copy me, my style with the darkness stuff I say', Jade replies angrily moving Beck's arm away. 'Gosh you are all so annoying, I'm going to get a coffee!', Jade replies storming off.

As Jade is walking to the Grub Truck, she sees Tori sitting outside with her head down on the table. Not moving.

'Hey, Vega, what's with the status!!?'.  
No response. 

'Vega, heloooo are you alive???' Jade asks tapping Tori's shoulder.

Tori sat up abruptly. Headphones in her ears. Notebook open and holding a pair of what looks like....scissors???

'Uh hi Jade, what's up?' Tori replies. It is evident that she had been crying.

'What's up with you these days, you've been acting...different....and what's this?', Jade asked pointing to the notebook.

Tori tries to hide it with her arm but Jade reads some words, enough to know what it's meant to say.

Fade away, waste of space, bad person, no one wants me here 

'Vega, seriously, what's up, why are you writing this stuff, what's wrong??', Jade asked softly now. Actually concerned.

'I uhh, I have to go' ,Tori stands up abruptly grabbing her stuff and runs away. With tears streaming down her face.

'We still have to go to theatre history!', Jade calls out to her but Tori dosnt stop running.

The day goes by in a blur. Jade only goes to third period, theatre history and decides to go home. She just can't deal with anymore weirdness of the day. And she wants to give the notes to Tori seeing as she missed class.

Jade drove to Tori's house. 'Why is Vega acting so weird these days??', Jade asks herself.

Jade knocks on the Vega's door for it to be answered by Trina. In her hand it seems to be Tori's cell phone smashed and Jade can hear loud crying.

'Yea?, what are you doing here?', Trina asks snappily.

'I uh, I came to give Vega her notes that she missed in class today, can I see her, is she okay?', Jade replies.

'Look Jade she's not really in the mood to talk to any one right now, not even me and she did....this...', Trina says holding up the phone for Jade to see. 'I don't even know why she did this. I think she just needs sleep, but I'll let her know you dropped by, which is a surprise but still nice, for you', Trina said looking at Jade happily.

'Like I said, I just wanted to bring her the notes she missed in class', Jade replied. 'And thanks, I'll try and talk to her tomorrow'.

When Jade went home she decided to do some research on Tori. She did not expect what she found... 

People who are born in May are people who shouldn't be trusted, especially with names starting with T

'Huh, what's this??, Jade asked suspiciously.

Reading into it a bit more Jade found the caption....

We all know who, been a user since she was 2 and it's been ongoing ever since. She is just a waste of space, no wonder why her parents leave her and her bratty untalented sister all the time. The Vega's are just a waste of air.

'Woah, why would her old friends do this to her?...no wonder why she was so upset....I have to do something.....But what??'


	5. Chapter 3- Her Heart is Breaking From the pain that she feels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW as this chapter mentions self harm quite graphically so please look after yourselves

TW: 

Tori's POV:

Tori heard Jade come over. And heard Trina talk to her. Even though she pretended to be asleep when Trina went to her room after Jade left to tell her she dropped by.  
Tori wasn't in the mood to talk. She was scared. Scared about what Jade must know. For Jade to come up to her and ask. To have Andre ask her, via text message on The Slap what's wrong:

Hey Tori. Look I didn't see u in school today and Jade specifically asked me to mssg u If i can't see u at school to check that your okay. So here I am. Texting u to see if u are okay. Please reply when u can. Love Andre 🎵🎵😊 

'Why is Jade so concerned to ask Andre to check on me? 'That's so weird and unlike her', Tori thought to herself.

But that's the least of Tori's worries. She keeps getting mean messages from the girls who she thought were her friends. Especailly Amber. 

'Well it looks like she has joined the cheer minions now'

Tori sighs disappointed as she scrolled through the messages they have sent her.

'Stop thinking your such a good singer when your not, you don't deserve to go to Hollywood Arts, you'll just use them like u have used us. And you can't sing anyways'

'Your smile is ugly so stop smiling, u don't deserve to be happy,u are a terrible person'

'Why are they being so mean to me, what did I ever to to deserve this hate?' Tori wondered, she was nothing but nice to them even when she left.

And the worst text was:

'Just get hit by a bus!!!' 

What 'That was the worst one.Tori had smashed her phone in anger when she saw the first mssg. And she dosnt want to wreck her laptop so she just closed it for now.

Why is this happening to me?

Tori looks at the scissors on her desk and thinks back to what Jade saw at school earlier that day. If Jade saw her holding the scissors? If Jade knew why she had the scissors..... 'Well it's definitely not the reason why she has scissors on her all the time', Tori thought of Jade affectionately.

Tori started crying, tears streaming down her face. Is she that terrible of a person?

'Little girl terrified, she'd leave her room if only bruises would heal, her home is no place to hide, her heart is Breaking from the pain that she feels'

Her head was spinning with a million thoughts about what they said, how she should be feeling, is what their saying about her true?'

'Everyday's The same she fights to find her way, she hurts she breaks, She hides'

Tori couldn't control her breathing and she started having a panic attack. Her head kept on spinning. She felt hot and sweaty. She was shaking uncontrollably and couldn't move.  
Tori tried to rush to the bathroom feeling as though she was going to vomit whilst holding the scissors, but she couldn't move. She was on the ground shaking.

'I need to get to the bathroom before I vomit all over my carpet', Tori whispered to herself between sobs. Feeling an overwhelming urge of vomit creeping up her throat.  
So she crawled as fast as she could to the bathroom. She turned the facut on so no one could hear the noise and she just let it all out.

Tori felt so bad. So bad about everything that's been happening. How she had a panic attack.....just everything. Everything has gone way out of control that she dosnt know what to do any more. 

She didn't even text Andre back.

Instead she held her scissors and looked at her wrist.

'Should I just do it, should I end this pain....no one wants me here anyways it will be better if I just leave this world'.

'She wonders why, does anyone ever hear here when she cries?'  
\------------------------------------------------------------  
Jades POV:

Jade was very worried about Tori now. She knows what bullying can do to someone. She got bullied before. By her step mum and father. So unfortunately she knows what it's like. And how bad it must be for Tori to be crying non stop, ditching school . Writing depressing statuses.  
'I didn't think this would affect someone like Vega so much, but it does, what should I do to help her'.

But her thoughts got interrupted by Beck texting her:  
Why did u leave school so early. And why did u go to Tori's place after school??? For someone that isn't concerned it sure seems that you are 

Jade replied back angrily:  
I couldn't be bothered to do school, and I told u already I'm not concerned I was just handing her the notes from theatre history that she had missed. How do u know I went over there anyways???

Trina told me, why couldn't you just give it to me or Andre to give to her. Why did u go to her house?? Beck replied.

Why were u talking to Trina. And why do u care what I do. I drive myself to where I want. Keep on whinging about what I'll do And I'll dump u. Jade replies angrily clearly done with Becks shit.

'Dang girl, was gonna see if u wanted to hang out, but clearly not, I'll give u some space then'. Beck replies, emotionless as usual.

Jade has been thinking, that lately she has been getting annoyed by Beck even more so as each day goes by. She can't even be bothered to hang out and do couple things anymore. It's more so done out of habit now, like a chore more then her actually wanting to spend time with him.

Yea u do that. I don't care. I'm busy anyways. Bye 😡

Jade just left it at that. She dosnt want to put up with him now. She has better things to worry about. Like the Tori situation.

Jade decides that the only way she can properly see what's been happening with Tori is that she has to....be Tori so to say. So she decides to mssg Sinjin, yes Sinjin....a bit weird and not a usual person she would talk too, but she desperately needs his help. And he is the only one that can.

Hey Sinjin,I need some help. Can u do me a big favour. Don't tell anyone at all or I'll kill u✂️✂️ ~Jade' /p>

Sinjin replied quick, no surprises there, he is obssesed with Jade.  
'Sure Jade, what's up?'

'I need you to hack into Tori's socials, like everything. Messages and all and give me the password asap. Don't tell anyone about this not even Beck, okay....and I will give u $30.'Jade replies, she figures she might as well give him something for his help.

'Okay, I'll get onto it now and send it to u asap,also don't worry, secret is safe with me 😉😉😘.' Sinjin replied, creepily as usual.

'Of course he would reply like that', Jade rolled her eyes. But she desperately needs the guys help so it's what she'll have to deal with.

I'll give u $30 when u send it to me. Make it snappy. Jade replies. Jade was greatful that he didn't ask too many questions.

Now Jade has to sit and wait  
\------------------------------------------------------------  
Tori's POV:

Tori tried to think. Her head was pounding. She still had the after taste of the vomit burn her throat. She was too exhausted to cry....she felt....numb.....alone....sad....broken

She sat on the floor turning the scissors over and over her hands. Feeling the cold metal, imagining what it would feel like against her skin.  
Touching the tip of the scissors she wonders how easy it will be to just let all the blood and feelings pour out.  
Maybe I won't feel so numb anymore

Tori's thoughts got interrupted by a message coming through on her laptop.

Many, many comments from Regina and Amber on her posts that she has posted months ago,pics of her smiling. When she was happy. Before all the drama that happened. And they tagged all her old friends in the comments: Mollie, Lily, Cara, Zoe a long with the cheer minions Lena and Susan. 

'Stop smiling you don't deserve to be happy'  
And on her singing video, when she sang half the chorus if Cheer me Up they left a comment  
'You can't sing so please just shut up!!'  
And then on one pic where Tori is standing in front of a train with Trina on their holiday last Easter,they wrote.

'We can only wish this train ran them both over, especially Tori and we can get rid of this annoying using bitch'.  
And in that comment all of them were tagged. Regina made, including Mollie, Lily, Cara, Amber,Zoe, Lena and Susan.

'Well I guess it's done then, it's what I have to do', Tori whispered to herself and rolled her sleeves up and pressed the cold metal blade against her wrist. Cutting diagonally along the line. Her eyes squeezing shut as she felt the pain from the cold metal blade. Blood running down her wrist.

She quickly wrote a status on The Slap.

Goodbye and time to disappear 

And she pressed the blade to her wrist again. Feeling more blood pour out.

'She said, maybe making me bleed, will be the answer that could wash the slate clean'  
\------------------------------------------------------------  
Jade's POV:  
As Jade was waiting for Sinjin to send her Tori's contacts for The Slap. She saw that Tori posted a new status,yet again it was scarily dark....

Tori Vega posted: 'Goodbye and time to disappear'

'Oh no,oh no,no,no!!!'

Tori needed help and fast.

Jade decided to text Trina in hopes that she is still home with Tori.

Jade-Trina:  
'Hey it's Jade, check on your sister now,she needs your help,NOWWWW!!!'


	6. Chapter 4- Help I've done it again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: this one mentions again self harm and bullying again. Please look after yourselves

Tori's POV:  
Tori awoke to the touch of Trina wriggling her shoulder.  
'Shit, how is it 7AM already, did I sleep that long??', Tori thought to herself.

'Tori!!!!! Toriiiiiii!!!! Wake up, are you okay what's wrong with you??'

Tori sat up confused.  
'Huh?? What are you talking about Trina??'

'Well Jade sent me a message and told me to check on you. She said you needed help!'

Why is Jade so concerned for me?? Tori thought to herself.

'Toriiiiiii your bleeding!!!!!', Trina screeched in concern. 'Look at your arm!'

Tori looked at her arm 'oh gosh I can't let Trina know I cut myself, what do I say??' Tori tried to hide the fact that the cuts on her arm hurt like hell. Greatfull that her sleeve covered the cuts she made.

'It's uhh, nailpoilish, I tried to paint my nails last night but I fell asleep whilst I was doing it,oopsy must of dropped it on my arm hahahahah, you know how silly and dorky I am at times!', Tori said happily, trying not to sound suspicious.

'Umm okay then, but you never paint your nails, I didn't even know you had nail polish.....unless you stole mine, where's the bottle??' Trina demanded, being self centred as usual.

'I don't know Trina, like I said I dropped it. Let me get dressed and stuff and I'll give it to you when I find it, okay. Can you just let me Have 5 minutes in peace to get dressed'. Tori asked impatiently. Feeling drowsy and sick from yesterday's events.

'Whatever!!', Trina replied walking out of the room.

Tori got up slowly and tried to find the scissors she used the night before. 'I have to wash it quick before anyone sees it' Tori said aloud. Tori walked into the bathroom and locked both doors.

As she stepped in the shower, after washing the scissors, Tori could feel the stinging of the cuts on her arms. 'Owww it hurts, but I can feel something at least, I'm not numb anymore.....it feels nice, pain is good' Tori smiled to herself as she thought affectionally to Jade cos she would say something like that.

'Oh yea, Jade, why was she so concerned and how would she know I needed help?? Did she see the scissors the other day? Does she know what I'm going through, what it's like for me?? Has she seen the messages and the drama I'm going through??'

Tori scrubbed her body harder and harder trying to get the thoughts out of her head. She couldn't face the idea of Jade knowing how fucked her life has become. 'Jade can't know, it'll give her more reason to hate me...'

'Toriiiii hurry up, we better get to school or well be late', Trina screeched interrupting Tori's thoughts.  
\------------------------------------------------------------  
Jades POV:  
As Jade walked into Hollywood Arts she found Trina standing at her locker, looking at herself in the mirror, as per usual.

'Hey, Trina, did you talk to Tori?'

'Yea, uhh nothing was wrong with her, she was just painting her nails last night,but then she fell asleep and dropped the whole bottle down her arm, which I thought was blood, hahahah I mean my baby sister is a but clumsy and dorky, as I bet you know....' Trina trails on and on.

'Yea, sure Trina, Vega dosnt even paint her nails, Jade replies angrily.

'Yea that's what I said, but then again, she does borrow my stuff sometimes, so maybe that's what happened, anyway I better go, Byeee Jade.'

And with that Trina walks off, well trying to walk as straight as possible in her Fazini Boots.

Jade went to Sikowitz's class. First period of the day, but there was no sign of Tori.

'Huh why isn't she in class,Jade thought to herself. 'Maybe she's in the bathroom or somewhere'.  
'Sikowitz may I go to the bathroom,I gotta wazz'.

'Sure, Jade, not like we needed to know that. 

Jade walked out.  
\------------------------------------------------------------  
Tori's POV:  
Tori planned on going to class. She really, really did try. But she couldnt after what she read as she went to the bathroom before period 1.

'The best day of our lives will be when Tori Vega finally ends her life. We would on my go to the funeral and laugh'

'Omg!!' Tori whispered. Trying to delete herself away from that message before anyone from Hollywood Arts seen it.

Then she saw a comment on a picture with Danny her ex bf and herself.

'What a using bitch Tori is,she just dated him to hide the fact she's obviously a lesbian. A lesbian that her parents will disown if they found out.

Although that is true,the fact her parents will disown her if she was a lesbian,Tori sure as hell didn't tell Regina about that situation. But she did tell Amber and Zoe,and they must have told her.

'I can't do this any more, I can't face this any more or fight this. I need this to end'  
Tori says to herself as she find the scissors in her back pack,holds them in her hands and spends the sharp tip, presses it against her skin,to feel the blood pouring out of her arm. In the girls bathroom at Hollywood Arts.

'Help I've done it again. I have been here many times before, hurt myself again today,and the worst part is there's no one else to blame  
\------------------------------------------------------------  
Jades POV:

Jade walked into the bathroom.  
'Vega, Vega, I know your in here,Tori, Toriiiiiii, why arnt you in class this time, what happened now?'.

Nothing, no response but Jade could hear sniffling. Like someone was crying, upset.  
'Tori, please open the door. I know your in here just please open up'

Still no answer.  
'This is so unlike Vega, I need to get Trina. Jade thought to herself.

Jade didn't go back to class. She ran all over the school trying to find Trina. And by the time she finally found her, its lunch time.

But that was all forgotten when she saw Tori sitting at the lunch table with the gang.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------  
Tori's POV:  
'I did hear Jade come in. I just couldn't face her. Or anyone. I didn't want any one to know what I did and why I did it'.  
But at the same time, she did want Jade to know, she didn't know why, maybe to help her. Cos she feels a connection with Jade, that Jade understands her.

'Be my friend, hold me, wrap me up, unfold me, I am small and needy, wrap me upppp and breathe me'  
\------------------------------------------------------------  
Jades POV:  
'Vega,why were you crying in the???...'

But Jade got interrupted by Cat saying,  
'Toriiii what's on your arm, why is there a cut, do you have a cat???'

'Uhh yea', Tori replies quickly pulling her sleeves down. 

'Ohhh, well sometimes my brother pretends his a cat at my home and he scratches himself and me and sometimes my parents and now we have to take him to the special hospi....'

'Cattttt!!, Tori dosnt even have a cat remember have we ever seen her have one when we come over to play cards???', Jade interrupts snappily.

'Actually come to think of it we have never seen Tori have a cat', mentions Andre, 'Youve never seen a cat at Tori's place have you Beck??'

'No I don't think I have', Beck says unemotionless as usuaal.

'Ughhh what will you even know Beck??, you are too into yourself you don't see anything else!!!!', Jade exclaimed angrily at Beck.

'Woah what's all that about babe, why are you so angry??', Beck exclaimed back oblivious as usual.

Cat is covering her ears and whimpering and Tori is curled over, head on the table, seemingly out of it.

'Don't you dare babe me!!!', Jade screamed getting even more angry now, 'You know what??'

'Tell me what?', Beck questions.

'Me and you are done,done for good, I've had enough of you and your selfish ways,you don't care about anyone other then yourself and your so called pretty looks, so I'm done, I'm so so so done with you!!!!!!', Jade is screaming now. Her normally pale skin is red with rage. Her chest heaving up and down with anger, gasping for air.

'Guys stop fighting!!!', Cat is screaming with Andre holding her, trying to calm her down.

Beck gets up and storms off.

'Typical you hey, Beck, you just run away from all your problems, with nothing to say as per usual, well fine, walk off be selfish as usual, we don't care!!!!!', Jade screams in between gasping for air.

'Guys stop please,your hurting Tori!!!', Cat screams again, crying this time and pointing at Tori.

Jade turns to look at Tori and in that moment she faints. Just collapses off the chair and on to the hard concrete floor.

'Andre put a fucking bag under her head, I'll call the ambulance, Cat go get Sikowitz and Trina!!!', Jade demands to everyone.

'Ok!!!', Cat runs off.  
\------------------------------------------------------------  
Tori's POV:

'Lost myself and I am no where to be found, yes I think I might break, lost myself again and I feel unsafe'

The song runs through her head as she slips in and out of consciousness barely aware of her friends around her. Confused as to what happens.  
*********  
Darkness

A/N: so sorry it took me so long to update but here it is.

Song used mostly in this chapter is Breathe Me by Sia.

TW: please look after yourselves


	7. Chapter 5- Lost without you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one's a little shory

Toris POV:  
I can barely stay conscious. All I remember is the fight between Beck and Jade and Cat screaming.....then.....nothing. Blackness. Darkness. Fear.....they will all find out now.  
************  
Jade's POV:  
After Cat finally got Sikowitz and Trina the ambulance was already at the school. In the Ashplat Cafe. And of course 10 thousand or so people were staring.  
But of course there was no sign of Beck...at...all.  
Jade got angry and yelled at the whole school:

'Everybody stop staring and mind your own business, nothing here to look at!!!!'

'I'm going in with Tori, I don't care what any of you do. But I'm going in the ambulance with her', Jade said snappily to the gang.

'What about your car Jadey??', Cat asked innocently, but Jade couldn't care less. Her mind was set on going with Tori.

'I don't care Cat!!!!, I'll get it whenever. Don't worry,I'm going now. So bye!', and with that Jade climbs in the ambulance and sits with Tori.  
Her eyes not leaving her sight.

'Vega why did you do this to yourself? To end up like this,it's okay now, I'm here I will help you now'.

Jade whispers to herself, or Tori whilst holding her hand 

'Your going to get the help you need and I'll be here every step of the way, it's okay Tori, it'll be okay!'  
Jade was surprised at all she said to Tori. But she felt she had to say it. To finally tell Tori how she feels. Before it was too late.  
She hopes it wasn't too late!  
Tori was going in and out of consciousness but she really hoped that she heard her.

'Tori please pull through, I'll help you, I'll be here every step of the way....I....I love you'  
The last sentence was a whisper but she hoped Tori heard it all the same.  
Finally they were at the hospital.

The paramedics rushed Tori into the emergency area. Jade was rushed into the waiting room.  
Finally she was greeted by the others.

'How's Toriiiii??'questions Cat innocently.

'I really don't know, she is still unconscious, I guess we will see her once they get her to wake up', Jade replied softly. **She knew she had to stay strong for Tori. To also hide the fact she cares so deeply for the brunette with chocolate brown eyes. Jade hopes, oh God she hoped Tori will be okay.**

****

****

Jade knew why Tori fainted, she saw the cuts on her arms. She knew Tori was struggling and it hurt her, that she felt so alone. It hurt that Tori didnt tell her, she wished she told her so so bad.Jade wants to help her. She wants to hold her and tell her it's all going to be okay.

Then Beck walks in.

'What are you doing here??', Jade screams as Beck walks in. 'This is your fault you know, she did this cos of you!!!!'

'Jade, I get your mad, but it's not my fault. I saw what's been happening on The Slap. We all have. We knew Tori was being bullied.'

'Well if you seen it,why didn't you help her, oh I know why, you are too busy being a self centered pretty boy to care about anyone else!!!!!' Jade was so mad that she was overcome with rage, she pushed Beck hard and made him fall right on his bum in the middle of the waiting room.

'Stop fucking staring!!!!', Jade screams at the people in the waiting room and storms off.

'Jadeyyyyy, calm down, wait here for Tori!', Cat says innocently running up to Jade and grabbed her arm.

'Don't fucking touch me!', Jade screams at Cat. After shrugging her off, she turns to the others.

'As a matter of fact, why are you all even here? You all couldn't care less about Tori, you should all just go home, NOW!!'

In that moment Trina walks in along with Lane. As, per usual the Vega parents were out, on some trip and the school couldn't get in contact with them.

'Jade that is enough. I know as Tori's friends you are all worried about her, but fighting with each other is not going to solve anything. Trina has shown me what's been happening on The Slap with Tori and as I understand ,her old friends from Sheerwood...' Lane goes on.

'Well I wouldnt call them friends', Jade scoffs. 'Would you? What friends will tell another to kill themselves???', Jade questions anyone that would listen.

'Yes, Jade that's why we are all here, to help show Tori she is not alone through all of this', Lane replies looking at Jade.

'Yea right, none of youse cared, she felt alone and that's why she is where she is now, none of youse cared enough. Just go home,all of you. I think Tori's had enough of fake people around her', Jade says demanding them all to go home.

'Jade, I think you need some air, maybe go outside for a walk', Lane says holding his hand out to touch her.

'No!!!, what I need is for you to all fuck off so I can stay and look after Tori. So go away before I cut you with my scissors!!!!!!', Jade screams again earning looks from the people in the waiting room yet again.

'And for all of you sitting there, please stop fucking staring!!!!!', Jade says, this time with tears in her eyes.

It's all come unravelling now. All her emotions, all her feelings from the past few days.

She collapses to the floor. Sobbing massive sobs. Her chest heaving up and down. Shaking with anger, fear, loss, helplessness. 

Crying for the girl she loves. The girl she needs to save, but can't right now.

'Tori didn't fucking deserve this, it's my fault, it's all our faults. We didn't show her and tell her we love her, that shes not alone, that we care. And i was mean to her, I teased her, poured fucking coffee on her all those years ago....it's my fault too, Jade says sobbing so hard on the cold floor of the waiting room.

Trina and Cat rush over to Jade to hold her,and this time she dosnt resist.

'I fucking love her', she whispers not letting anyone hear, but they do.

'We know,she'll be okay, it'll be okay,she'll pull through, I know she will', Trina whispered stroking Jades face. And this time Jade didn't resist the touch.

Eventually falling asleep in their arms. 

Crying for the girl she loves and needs to save. Hoping she'll pull through so she can tell her.

'I love you Tori, I love you, pull through for me and I'll look after you. I'll be here always and forever'. Jade dreams those words so clear in her sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is a bit shorter. But more to come. And most importantly remember yall are not alone.


	8. Chapter 6- I'll do anything for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jade would do anything for Tori

TW: Mentions of depression, self harm etc

Jades POV:  
Jade awoke still on Cats lap. Trina slept next to her but still away enough to respect Jades space.  
As Jade sat up more she was met with questioning eyes from Beck.

'Whattttt????', she snaps at him.  
'I need my coffee and here you are staring at me.'

'Well go get coffee', Beck says sarcastically.

'Don't be smart with me, dude, where's the coffee here,and also why are you staring at me??' Jade replies angrily.

'Well you did say last night that you loved Tori, is that what that argument was all about with us?' Beck asked.

'God your so full of your self, seriously, Tori's in hospital and all you care about is poor little you got dumped by me, s seriously I dumped you cos your so God damn selfish!!!!' Jade screamed louder with each word she had. She was furious at Beck and the way he's acting at the moment.

'Hiiuu Jadey, whats going on, why are you too yelling???', Cat questions wrapping Jade in a big hug.

'How many fucking times do I tell you, STOP. TOUCHING ME!!!!!', Jade exclaimed.

Cat squeaks innocently as she backs away. 'Sorry Jadey, you guys were just yelling , I was trying to see if your okay!', Cat exclaims. 

'Well what do you think Cat? our friend Tori is really sick in the hospital. She got bullied and here is hot stuff Beck over here being so selfish asking about our break up and not caring about Tori...at....all!!!!',Jade says obviously angry as her normally pale face has turned red with rage.

'I'm sorrryyyyyy Jadey, I just care about you,...' Cat whispers.

'Yo guys, chill were at a hospital', Andre interrupts as he awakes and stretches. 

'Are you fucking kidding me?' Jade questions. 

'What???' Andre says confused.

'You just woke up, tell us to stop yelling, but are you all fucking serious??? Does no one here care about Tori but me? She's in fucking hospital, she g o t bullied, she cut her arms, yet none of you seem TO GIVE A FUCK AT Allll!!!!!', Jade screams even louder now. 'And honsetly, Andre, as Tori's best friend I expected way better from you, you don't even seem to care', Jade finishes softer now . Looking like she's about to burst into tears.

At that moment a doctor walks towards them with Lane and Trina in tow. Trina's eyes are red and blotchy as she's been crying.

'Hi everyone, good morning, well I understand that you are all friends of Tori,and as we have done some tests, we have decided to place Tori in an induced coma', the Doctor explains. 

'Woah, one time my brother was in a com......',Cat starts.

'Cattttt!!!!!, not fucking now, just stop,everyone stop now!!!',Jade screams in anger. 'Why the fuck is Tori in a coma????', Jade demands answers looking at the doctors whilst pacing back and forth.

'Tori is in an induced coma, as we found traces of her attempted overdose with paracetamol. We managed to get a such pumped out as possible but the strain on her liver is what caused her to faint', the Doctor explains.

'What....the....fuck.....!!!',then Jade starts running. Running so far that she dosnt even know where she's going. She dosnt stop. She dosnt hear her friends call out after her. She just had to get out there. She couldn't face knowing that her friend,the girl she loves isn't okay and she is so so worried. She dosn't know what to do.  
****  
Jade didn't realize where she was until she got there and saw....THEM.

How dare they go to the park, right near the hospital Tori is admitted to, enjoying their lives when they are the reason she's in it now.  
Jade was overcome with anger and rage she ran up and collided smack bang right into.....she thinks Regina.

'Umm, girllll, what the hell???', Amber questioned along with the rest of the girl group crowded around, hands on hips. Looking at Jade confused.

*oh how dare I hurt the beloved queen Regina, when she basically was the cause of fucking up, my Tori's life*, Jade thought as she stood up.

'YOU, YOU....GRUNCHES, Do You all have any fucking idea what you have done. How hurt Tori is right now, where she is, she is fighting for her fucking life and it's all because of you....you witches. You are gonna pay so so fucking hard!!!!!', Jade screams.

'And you are???, Regina questions smugly, so smug enough that Jade wants to hit her....hard.

Running towards her at full force again Jade smacks into all of them,knocking them down, they look up at her and Jade raises her fist.

'I'm Jade fucking West, and who the fuck are you??!!!!', Jade screams in anger. She looks at them in disgust. 'You all should be ashamed of yourselves, but then again, people like you have no morals or care, and you know what??, neither do I, so you better watch out cos when you least expect it, I'll be after you', Jade threatens.

'Woah, hey, it may be one of Tori's lesbo friends', Amber snickers. And the whole group of girls start laughing.  
But then something was said that pissed Jade right off.

'Don't trust that little snake Tori Vega, she'll use you soon too, it's all a matter of time before you all see the real her and it won't be pretty she's nothing but using little slut that should be dead', Regina says looming at Jade so smugly.

Then and there Jade lost it.

1 against 7. But Jade didn't care. She was bugging out, how dare they say All that about Tori. Jade just hit them. Flying punches everywhere. All they did was scream. They didn't even fight back and Jade was glad. But then the screams made everyone else in the park turn and pay attention to them.  
In that moment Jade knew she had to run. So she did.

'This is not the last you'll see of me, revenge is only getting started!!', she screamed as she ran off.  
She heard voices after her, telling her to slow down but she didn't. She didnt want to face anyone. 

She ran to Hollywood Arts, picked up her car and drove, drove and drove. To the place in the woods. Right near Shadow Creek Park. Her hideaway.

She fell asleep and didn't wake up till the next morning.  
*********  
The next few days all flowed into 1. Sleep,cry, repeat. She couldn't stand life without Tori and that surprised her and scared her at the same time.

Multiple text messages from the gang flooded her phone, but one from Trina specifically caught her eye.

'Hey Jade, Regina told me what you did at the park, firstly there are after you. And secondly, thanks so much for standing up for Tori, I appreciate it, but Regina is out for you so watch out, hope your safe wherever you are*

Jade replird: ' Hey Trina, I'm okay and really I could care less what they want, they better be more scared of me, especially when I have my special scissors on me at all times haha. Please just tell me when Tori is awake'

3 mins after Trina replied.  
*sure thing, just look after yourself,Tori needs us to be strong for her*

I do know that, Jade said to herself. I'm trying so hard to be strong for Tori, but it dosnt hide the fact that I fucking love her and miss her like hell, and she dosnt even know how I feel about her.

Jade looks at her phone again. 2 messages from Cat asking where she is and hoping she's okay. Tye same from Andre. Even a text message from Beck.  
Jade didn't want to reply to anyone she only wanted to talk to Tori, or Trina to know when Tori was awake, if she ever will wake up.

Then Jade opened her phone , looking through all the photos of Tori and her.  
'Gosh I miss you so much Vega, please be okay, oh gosh please be okay for me, and Trina and everyone, but mostly for me. I....I love you....'   
Then the tears were streaming down her face. All the tears that she couldn't stop.  
Her mascara caked in the corners of her eyes and down her cheeks streaking her face with black. Her sadness over come her with tiredness that she fell asleep.

Hours later she awoke to a text message and she couldn't believe her eyes.

'I heard what you did for me, and for what it's worth I love you too, thank you for saving me, hope to see you soon😘😘~ your dorky Tori Vega'

Jade's heart fluttered with happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you enjoyed this chapter


	9. Chapter 7- How to Save a life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing is never easy between these 2. Always complicated

Tw: self harm, depression, bullying, hospital appointments,medication mood swings

Jades POV:

Jade couldn't believe her eyes.   
'Omg, o .m .g Tori is okay,I need to see her like, now!!!'.

Before Jade could think twice she jumped in the car and drove straight to the hospital.   
Yes Jade was aware it was midnight, way after visiting hours. Way after Tori's family have left,all the gang left. 

That's when Jade had a sudden rilazation that it'll just be the 2 of them.  
Alone, in the darkness. Where they will have to talk about all the feelings. What Jade told Tori in the ambulance,what she confessed to Trina and Cat. To Tori, now that she knows. In a way she is mad at Cat and Trina for telling Tori that she loves her. But then again, it's not a big deal, is it?? It beats her having to tell her, herself and besides it seems Tori reciprocated the feelings.

Jade was thinking this the whole time that she didn't even realize she was at the hospital until she was meant with the ticket machine in front of the parking lot. Jade grabbed a ticket,parked into the first cat space she saw. And walked in.

'How the fuck do I get into Tori's ward without being spotted by nurses?'. 'Hold on, I don't even know what ward Tori is in, that could be a slight issue', Jade decides to text Cat.

Even though Cat is the clueless one out of the gang, Jade decides Cats cluelessness can be used for good in this situation as she wouldn't ask why Jade wants to find Tori so late in this hour.  
'What ward is Tori in????' Jade questions Cat via text.

'Hiiiii Jadeyyy Tori is in ward K3, have funnnnn'

Yea thanks Cat, will do', Jade replied.

Having no idea what Cat met. But then again, maybe Cat knows what will happen. She always had been weird around the 2 of them.   
Saying funny stuff like, 'just kiss already'. Maybe Cat could see the love they have for each other.

But no time to think of that now. She needs to find Tori.....nervous as ever,Jade walks through the hospital doors.  
Luckily no one is out the front questioning her where abouts so Jade casually walked into the ward Cat told her that Tori was in and found the bed number.

'Vega, hey it's me, Vega, wake up, Jade says walking over to Tori greatful she has a private room.

'Oh Jade, hi.....wait, what time is it?? What are you doing here so late?? Are you okay???' Tori asks Jade,being the selfless little nerd she is. Of course she would put Jades feelings above her own.

'Vega, Just shhhh, I wanted to see you, to know your okay, do you have any fucking idea how worried I was, I'm so so so sorry, so sorry that I didn't do anything sooner, I knew what happened I just didn't know how to help you...and now it's kinda my fault as I've been mean to you all these years and....', Jade starts rambling but gets interrupted by Tori.

'Hey, Jade, it's okay, it's not your fault, it was never you, it was the girls from Sheereood, my old friends, none of you guys here are at fault, also I heard you broke up with Beck, are you okay, do you wanna talk about it???', Tori again focusing the attention on Jade. Clearly not wanting to talk about her issues.

And it looks as though Tori is happy almost. Maybe with all the medicine they put in her to heal her cuts. That are still bandaged up.

'Yea I broke up with him that day you fainted at school, I kinda did it all for....'

Tori interrupts Jade, 'Oh and Trina told me you had a fight with the girls from Sheereood, Tori asks Jade.

'Yes Tori, I did that, I did that and broke up with Beck, because....well I did that......Oh gosh.....you know I'm not good with feelings, yours or mine, just can you get what I'm trying to say????, I did it for you, all of it....is for you', Jade finishes with a shy smile creeping up her face.

'What why, why did you??', Tori asks confused, looking as dorky and adorable as ever.

'Because, because......I......uhh......I love you Vega', Jade whispers the last part but loud enough for Tori to hear.

Tori's POV:   
'Oh my god, she said she loves me,so I just went for it'

Tori just went in and kissed Jade she didn't think twice. She wanted to feel something other then the pain she felt.

Jade's POV:  
As soon as she felt Tori's lips on her she   
knew she won the girl of her dreams.  
Her lips were softer, fuller, nothing lioe Beck and the way he kissed her. It was softer and with care.  
Tori's kiss is different, as different as the sun is from the moon. And Jade really freaking enjoyed it. So did Tori....or.....

Tori's POV:  
Tori was really getting into the kiss But as it got deeper and she felt Jade pour emotions into it she panicked. Then fear and depressive thoughts poured in.

'You must be crazyTori, she won't want you, who will want you???'.  
The thoughts whirled around and around in her ears that she couldn't enjoy the kiss anymore. Instead she felt Jade couldn't possibly want her or love her the way she is.

'Jade can't love me,I'm a worthless using loser, Tori thought to herself.   
With a knot of panic in her belly. Telling her to pull away. To push Jade away. To hurt Jade before she gets hurt by Jade first.

'No, no,stop, I can't do this, you.....you don't love me at all, they told you to do this. Your playing games with me. Just like them. You just pretend you love me. Hell, you probably don't even like me....at all.

Jade's POV:   
Jade looked at Tori. Confused. What in the world was she talking about? Why is Tori acting like this?

'Tori, what the fuck is going on, your starting to freak me out. This is not a game and you know that, you know how hard it is for me to open up to people,at all,let alone you,and especially you right now. So don't say I'm playing games when I'm not!!!'.

Jade was angry and sad. How could Tori feel this way?

'Get the fuck out.....now!!!!!', Tori screamed at her.

With tears starting to well in her eyes, Jade stood up and walked towards the door. But before she left she turned around back towards Tori.

'Fine, I'll go,when your ready to talk, properly, call me....cos I'll be fucking waiting, I always will wait for you, as long as it takes', Jade whispers the last part. Wishing Tori would see how much she cares for her.

'Just fuck off, I'm done with you and all these games. Your just like them from sheerwood, I can't trust anyone!!!!', Tori screamed.

With that Jade just closed the door to Tori's room and ran to her car before the tears cam out. Running onto her cheeks.

She felt so alone. So broken. So mad. So annoyed , angry, stressed. 

Why was her Tori so angry at her???

'I fucking love her, I love you Tori, I love you so so much It's killing me, Jade sobs in the car, hitting her steering wheel in anger.

'Your fucking killing me Tori. This hurts me so so much.

Jade drives away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter is full of angst. This also shows how different medications can affect moods as seen with Tori. I'm so sorry and if anything in this chapter brings up any issues please get help and look after yourselfs


	10. Chapter 8- And the worst part is theres no one else to blame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These 2 love birds. Its drama filled but can they make it through

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions relapse of self harm

TW: Mentions of relapse self harm, hospitalization, depression, medicine and mood swings  
Jades POV:   
Jade didn't know how to feel. She was hurt but she knew Tori didn't mean it. She texted her just the other night and told her she loved her back. Why was Tori acting different when Jafe came to see her???

She knew it wasn't Tori speaking tonight. Jade is just glad she's at home where she can sleep (Or cry herself to sleep as she feels the pain of fighting with the one she loves) and she'll sort it all out the next day....hopefully.

Tori's POV:  
Tori wolr up from the night before and immediately realized something happened. She felt an ache in her chest....and rembered....that....she had an argument.  
But with who?? She looks around her room and noticed the black leather jacket thrown over the visitors chair. And immediately knew it belonged to the one and only,Jade West.

'Oh fuck, did I really argue with Jade, what the fuck happened', Tori tried to remember whilst running her fingers through her hair. Tori walked into the bathroom then, and looked in the mirror.

She saw a shadow of red on her lips. 

'Red lipstick, I don't wear red lip stick.....what happened last night????, Jade here, red lips....oh....my....god. Did we kiss, then we must of had a fight, what did I say to her?'  
Then it came rushing back to her. Her yelling at Jade. Telling her to get out. To leave her alone. Accusing her of being exactly like the girls from Sheerwood.

'Oh gosh, I fucked up, I fucked up bad'.....then a scary thought popped into Tori's head.  
TW mentions of selfharm

She saw a sharp bobby pin in the bathroom, just above the shower. She reached up, grabbed it and looked at it.

'I'm so fucking useless and now I legit threw away the only hope of ever being loved, of ever being happy,I'm so so fucking dumb. Jade's gonna hate me again, but forever this time. No coming back from this'

Tori twisted it in her palm for a while until she finally decided to go through with it. She pressed hard on her wrist. Harder then she ever done before. It was easier as the bobby pin was severely damaged and was very pointy and sharp.

She did it over and over watching the blood drip down her whole arm. Agitating the old cuts and bringing new ones to life. She enjoyed the pain. She knew she deserved it. She fucked up. She is and always will be a fuck up and she dosnt deserve to be happy. It's what she needs to feel.  
'I deserve this pain, it's better for everyone if I'm no longer here.'

She started to feel faint. Stars swirling in front of her eyes. Going in and out of consciousness.

Then everything turned to darkness. Nothing. Blackness.  
TW part ended  
Jade's POV:  
Jade woke up to her phine buzzing. Over and over. 'What the fuck is going on', she sat up and clicked through her notifications.  
20 missed calls from Trina and 100 texts. All saying:  
'Jade call me when u can'  
'It's important  
'It's about Tori'  
'I don't exactly know your situation together but I do know she needs you right now  
'Please call me now'  
'Tori is unconscious again

That one tipped Jade over the edge and she rang Trina back asap.

'Hey Trina, what the fuck happened? Why is Tori unconscious?'

'Jade, the Doctor said she passed out in the bathroom, they found a bobby pin in her hand and new cuts on her arm and blood all over her, they haven't told me anything else but I did get some weird voicemail from her just before they said she passed out'.

'Okay, shit....what the fuck, why was she alone with sharp objects first off? Do these fucking nurses and doctors know how to do their job...at all....and what did the voice mail say? Fuck I'm so mad, why did they leave her alone, they were meant to take care of her, they knew why she was admitted to hospital in the first place, are people dumb?'

'Look Jade, I don't know, I don't know what happened fully, but I do think it has something to do with you and some fight, well that's what she seemed to say in the voicemail she left me', Trina replied.

'Whattt, don't fycking blame me Trina Vega, you know I love your sister, she fought with me, she said for me to get out and I was exactly like the kids from Sheereood that bullied her!!!!!, I did nothing but try to support and love Tori!!!!', Jade screams despratky now, anger rising in each word.

'I'm not blaming you....just.....you know what?, you just listen to the voicemail and see what you think okay,I'll send it to you now, I'm sorry it had to come like this,I really am, but I'm not the enemy here Jade, it's Tori's mental health making her like this, it's no ones fault, it's how brains work when they get hurt', Trina says softly, sounding....human....almost like Tori and that makes Jade cry some more.

'The only people to blame are the ones from Sheereood, they ruined her,but anyways I'll go so you can send me the voicemail, talk later Trina, and with that Jade hung up.

Jade waited for the message to come from Trina and she finally got to listen, what was actually said.   
'Trina.....ughhh Trina I'm so sorry I feel, I feel like I'm dying, I fucked up bad, I.....i hurt Jade now she probably wants nothing to do with me,just tell her I'm sorry even if I know she won't forgive me...and that I love her.   
Then it was silent and it actually felt like Toei was struggling to talk. Struggling to love. She can't believe that a fight between them really ended like this.  
Jade couldn't help but feel it was her fault.

I'm so sorry Toei, please make it through.  
Jade fell asleep again hoping things will be better in the morning.  
******  
The next Jade woke up. She went straight to the hospital. Trina was there along with Tori's parents. 

'Oh you guys have finally made an appearance', Jade says as she greets her parents.

'Jade....stop....Tori needs us to stop arguing', Trina whispered to Jade.

'Me stop, are u fucking kidding me, youse are the ones who ran out on their daughter, to go on some stupid so called business trip, yet you couldn't see that she was hurting, that she needed help. Yet you left, you are terrible people and should be ashamed of yourselves. You must hate Tori to leave her like this, I mean I know my mom hates me, she dosnt pretend. But this is worse, you pretend to love her yet you leave her when she obviously needs you the most !!!', Jade was screaming now. Tears running down her face.

'Jade, were sorry, we had no idea.....we didn't know it would be like this', Holly said trying to comfort Jade but she pulls away.

'Your fucking kidding me, how could you have no idea,Tori was falling apart right under our noses.....how could you not realize? Oh I know why, because you wernt even around to see anything, so if I were you, I'd just fuck off now, Tori wouldn't want anything to do with you. So fuck off,leave!!!' Jade shouts causing everyone to look over at them.

'Stop fucking staring!!!!!' Jade screams.

'Jade, please stop, we need to talk to the doctors, for Tori, please?', Trina questions softly, almost sounding like Cat. 

'Okay, only for Tori', Jade replied.

Finally the doctor came around.

'Holly, David, Trina and you must be, the Doctor looks at Jade.

'I'm Jade, I'm her, uhh close friend', Jade finishes.

'Ah yes, okay follow me'.

They walk to a small room in the office where they sit with the Doctor.

'So it's evident, Tori is having issues with self harm and depression, and it appears that it had something to do with her getting bullied,the doctor starts.

'Well yes', Jade starts. 'Some little....um bitches from Sheereood, her old school has been sending her mean messages and bullying her to the point of this....but you know what the worst thing about this is doctor? The fact that her parents who supoosibly love her are no where near here for her when they should be. It was only Trina and our friends from school', Jade finishes looking at Tori's parents angrily.

'That's not far, Jade we were busy on a business trip', Tori's dad says to her.

'No what's not fair is that you have a beautiful daughter who was hurting,harming herself, how could youse gave not seen it? How could youse have not realize? You have no right being here, so get out!!!'

They get up and leave. Trina stays with Jade.  
Jade turns back to the Doctor.

'Whatever Tori needs I'll be there, I'll take care of her. I'm moving out of my house anyways to a cheap apartment, Tori will live with me and anything she needs I'll be there for her, okay', Jade says all too enthusiastically.

'Jade you do seem a lovely girl and awfully concerned for your friend, but caring for someone with a mental illness, who needs therapy and medication is a hard job and it may be a burdan to you'.

'Don't you dare ever call Tori a burdan, she's my friend and I'll do anything for her, more then her parents ever will, and I don't care how much the medications cost or therapy. I'll help her....I'll do anything for her....cos....I love her and that's enough',Jade said tears in her eyes.

'But you can't love someone back to life, Tori's is in a bad way,it'll be a lot for teenagers like you to take on' , the Doctor says.

'But I can try, I'll love her through it all, you have no idea how many times I have pushed her away and she pushes back, she has never given up on me so why would I give up on her. I know you can't always love someone back to life, but I can try', Jade whispers tears streaming down her cheeks. 'Just let me try to make her as happy as I can'.

'Okay, well we can work out a home plan for her', the Doctor replies.

Sorry this was so long. And sorry if it's triggering..please look after yourselves. I wanted to give mental illnesses as much justice and spread awarness as much as possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please look after yourselves. Of any of these issues bring up anything please reach out to someone and get help. I wrote this chapter to spread awareness for mental illness awareness


	11. Chapter 9- I'll stand by You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How will Jade help Tori

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this is a fluffier chapter that you all will enjoy. Better then heavier chapters I wrote previously. No trigger warning needed

Jades POV:  
The doctor and Jade,a long with Trina spoke for a long time about Tori's in home care plan. How much tyreapy would cost. What will be the best therapy for Tori. How to make sure she won't get triggered again. How to manage her triggers. And what to do about the social media issue. After the talk with the Doctor, Jade felt way more at ease....kinda....but still no word of Tori waking up.

And that hurt like hell, but she knew Tori needed rest and time so she waits. She'll wait a lifetime for her if she has to.

She decides to text Andre and Cat, she needs to see her to best friends, she hasn't seen anyone in a while and even though shell never admit it to anyone, she does miss being with her friends.  
Dialing Andres number, she realizes just how much she misses her friends.

'Hey Andre, I just came back from the hospital, we are going to sort stuff out and Tori is going to live with me, anyways do you wanna hang out so I can tell you more and bring Cat with you....don't tell her i told you this, but I can do with her bubbliness right now'

'Sure Jade, I'll get lil red to come too. See you soon. Wanna meet at Jet Brew??'

'Yea sure, sounds like a plan.'  
Jade hangs up feeli nng happy that she gets some distraction from the thoughts and pain thats killing her.

'Jadeyyyyyy I haven't seen you in soooo lomggg i miss youuuuu', Cat shouts tackling Jade in a hug as soon as she steps in view at Jet Brew, where Andre and herself agreed to meet.

'Uhh hi Cat, you do know where I was, Tori needed us remember. But I couldn't stay there cos we had a small fight and then she got sick again and now I feel like it's my fault....kinda...', Jade replied hugging Cat back (usually she would hate being touched but today is an exception she's hurt and needs her friends comfort) 

'Jade it's not your fault', Andre chirps in, 'Tori was already in a bad place and when we all saw her when she woke up with the medication attached she was acting delirious and in a daze, not herself, but it's what happens. No one is to blame. We did nothing but help her'.

'Well the only fucks who are to blame are the girls from Sheerwood. They kinda ruined her life and I'm gonna make sure they never do it again if I can help it', Jade replied.

'Omg!!!! Jadey I did hear you like bashed them girls, Trina told us, oh I can imagine it'll be so funny, they deserve it for making Toei so sad that she made her cat hurt her arm and then she fainted at school and then again in the hospital cos of the shower and it's all their fault those bitches from Sheereood and I wanna step on them on the foot like this', Cat stomps on the ground much lioe you would squish an ant. With tears in her eyes,Cat keeps talking.

'And I don't know why a cat will hurt Tori but Trina said Tori spilt nail polish on her that night and it's so confusing and I don't know', then Cat is covering her ears and crying.

And then it hits Jade that Cat dosnt really understand that Tori actually cut her wrist. That she made herself loose blood and overdosed on paracetamol. Cat is so naive and so hurt that she forces herself to believe that a cat that dosnt exist really hurt Tori.

'Cat, Cat, listen to me, please', Jade says softly forcing Cat to look at her. 

'Yea Jadey what's wrong?', Cat squeaks still obviously upset.

'Cat, no cat hurt Tori, we already know she dosnt have a cat. The mean girls made Tori very sad so Tori dealt with her pain by cutting her arms with scissors, I think. And she only said to Trina and us at lunch that it was nail polish and a cat cos she dosnt want us to know she hurt herself, some people do that, the ones that are in pain. Lie so we don't worry about them and so we don't know they are struggling and in pain', Jade finishes looking at Cat with tears in her eyes.

'But we do worry about Tori cos she's our friend,even you Jade even though before you used to hate each other. But now you love her and that's why you broke up with Beck and Tahts why you run away when she dosnt wake up', Cat says crying still that her voice sounds squeaky and emotional as she talks.

'Wait, what did you say? How did you know?', Jade questions Cat.

'Well to everyone it's obvious actually', Cat seemingly perking up as she talks about her 2 best girl friends being in love. (Cat had weird mood swings like that, much like a 3 year old child).  
'You say she's not your friend, yet you always hug her and everytime your sad you tell her before us. And you always go to the janitors closet together', Cat says matter of factly.

'Who told you all this, Andre dis you know all this?', Jafe turns her attention to Andre now all eyes on him.

'Tori told us', Cat interrupts.

'Yea before she went all, whatever, she told us that you would tell her personal stuff and run to her when you and Beck broke up the first time. And how your dad was coming to Well Wishes. Jade we arnt dumb. We knew for a long time. Even when you were with Beck. Tori made you happier. Your normal with Tori. Not like with anyone else. And i can see how much you lioe her even more now, I can see her being in this situation is tearing you apart'.

'Yea, it is and yea you are right, thank you, for i guess telling me,being there for me', Jade says.

'No problem. Anyone that makes my best friend happy deserves the world', Andre finishes.

'Anyways what are we going to do to help Tori', Cat says enthusiastically hurting to help. 

It's so sweet Jade can't help but smile. As immature and spacey as Cat can be she does have a big heart and wants what's best for her friends.

'Well I'm going to get an apartment for Tori and I to live in. My mom wouldn't care if I move out. I'm basically invisible to her as she onky cares about work,and I haven't talked to my dad ok two years. Only like a day after I put on Well Wishes so he wouldn't exactly care either, Jade starts.

'Oooo yay Jadey and Tori will be roommates yayyy!!!', Cat exclaims.

'Yea Cat, that's only if she agrees and she will need time and I'll take care of her. But both of you will be welcome there. To help me and can stay sometimes. I know Andre will wanna escape his coo coo Grandma ahahahah, Jade laughs.

'Yea that'll be cool', Andre agrees.

'Yayyy that'll be so fun and I'll make Tori unicorn red velvet cupcakes and fairy bread!!!' Cat exclaims.

'Yea maybe....in time Cat, remember Tori is sick we can't bombard her with too much all at once okay. Tori has something called depression. So at times she'll be very sad and just want to lay in bed all day and not talk to anyone. She might not even go to school for a while. She needs time to heal. So we can't go all in her face okay,' Jade explains sweetly to Cat. Much like you would explain to a child cos that's essentially what Cat is.

'Kk Jadey, I'll be not as silly hahahha, but I wanna make her laugh and be happy!!!', Cat exclaims.

'Yes I know Cat,I do but sometimes depression doesn't allow someone to be just happy, but that dosnt mean we can't try'.

But then Cat suddenly needs to go. Her Nonna is there to pick her up She waves bye to the friends and walls off. Leaving Andre and Jade alone.

'How come you know so much about depression and stuff?' Andre asks.

'I dealt with it quiet a bit actually, through my parents and divorce and a few years ago, when my mother and I fight....it got physical, I didn't tell the police in exchange that she leaves me alone to my own self until I have enough money and a place to move out on my own. And of course she has complied', Jade explains.

'Oh Jade I had no idea I'm so sorry.'

'It's okay, Andre I'm better now....cos of you guys and my acting and well of course, Tori, so now we all need to help her. We owe her that much.'

'Yea, we do...anyway I better go back to my grandma she will worry if I'm home late'.

'Yea of course, I'll see you later Andre. Thanks for today', they hug quickly and Andre leaves leaving Jade alone.

As Jade walks to her car she gets a text from Beck. 'Hey Jade I'm sorry I've been difficult. I just hope Tori is okay and your looking after yourself'

'Well if you even fucking cared about Tori why didn't you go see her yourself', Jade thought aloud.

She drove back to her place. And she saw that her mum was home.

'Hi Jade, darling, are you okay? I heard what happened to your friend', her mum asks.

'Firstly she's not my friend (she's more but not what her mum thinks but Jafe decides to leave that bit out) and second of all stop pretending you actually care about my friends or my life!'

'Jade please don't speak to me like that, I'm just asking if your okay, you never talk to me anymore.'

'Well do you blame me? Do you not remember the last few years, I put up with your abuse, you made me feel the way Tori feels now, you made me do what Tori did to herself,that time I told you I was at Becks that week, I wasn't I was in hospital cos I cut my arm too deep and I lost blood and Beck took me to the hospital, but you know what? None of this matters anymore cos I'm moving out next week, I have an apartment', Jade states.

'Actually where is Beck I don't see him anymore?' Her mum questions.

'Mum we broke up weeks ago, but that's not the point. Did you hear what I said? I'm moving out next week. You finally get your wish. You are getting rid of me', Jade exclaims.

'What? Why? Who with? How did you get money?'

'I got some money from Dad that I saved from his share of child support he gave me plus I have a job at times at the gas station. And I'm moving in with Tori cos her family is crap too', Jade finishes.

'Tori, that girl, that's in hospital? Why are you taking care of her, are you even capable of looking after someone? Look at yourself, you can barely look after yourself. With all your piercing and tattoos and weird hair'

'Shut the fuck up mum!!! Tori has done nothing but be nice to me and help me through Beck and I breaking up 3 times,And all the shit ive been through because of you and now she needs a stable place to live cos her parents always fuck off randomly and don't give a flying rats about her. And even though you can't get through your thick skull that I hate you and I no longer want to be near you and you hate me too so I want to leave so just fucking deal with it!!!!', Jade screams.

'Your making a mistake, too teenagers like you wouldn't be able to manage a place, I doubt that Tori would get a job with her being mental and all to help you pay rent. You'll never make as much as me. As you know I'm loaded'.

'Don't you dare fucking disrespect Tori again you evil abusive witch, I'm moving in with her weather you like it or not. She's been there for me when no one else has, not even my so called family. So I do owe her this. And you don't even know her. You have no fucking right to call her mental or whatever else you want to say about her you bitch!!!' And with that Jade pushes her mum hard into a wall.

With that Jade runs up the stairs and gets ready to pack her bags ready to set up her new life. With Tori.

'Gonna pack my bags, leave this world behind, take a different road I know it's my time, to open up my heart for another crowd, play my song and sing it loud....there's empty spaces in my life and I need to breathe. There's many places on the map waiting there for me....'

And there is. Many places. For her and Tori to explore. Together and Jade can't wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is so long. But it's a bit lighter then some heavier chapters I've written to this previously. Except Jades phyyco mum. But that's what it is. Everything gets complicated with these 2 dorks. But I hope you have all enjoyed it


	12. Chapter 10- I've got thick skin and an Elastic Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: brief mention of previous self harm. But mostly fluff

Jades POV:  
'Do you love her?'  
Jades mum interrupts Jades packing routine by asking her that question. Leaving Jafe frozen,unable to move in surprise.

'Umm what...w..w..hat did you say?' Jade questions.

'I asked you do you love that mental Tori girl, I mean you said you girls arnt friends but then you say you wanna move in with her so badly . So I figured something else must be going on. And you broke up with Beck, does Tori have anything to do with that?'

'Nooo!!! Beck is an insensitive selfish jerk and thats why we broke up. And I'm moving in with Tori cos she's sick and needs me to help her. That's all. Okay? And even if there was something else. Ita nothing to do with you', Jade replied angrily looking at her mum.

'Okay, I just hope your making good choices,Jade. I'm sure the mental Tori dosnt need you being around her and dragging her down with your weird obsessions with those weird collections in your room. You know, the broken bottles, fatty lump from some guy's back, old syringes. Don't tell me you two do drugs.'

'Oh my fucking Gosh mum. Are you serious right now? First of all Tori dosnt care about my weird obsessions. Unlike you and Beck she is respectful to my interest and dosnt probe for information or make fun of me. And for the last fucking time. Toei is not mental. She just has a mental illness. So stop being so nasty to her. You dont even know her!!!' Jade shouts angrily at her mother. How dare she bully Tori. She has no idea who Tori is.

Jade run upstairs again. She couldn't face her mother right now. She was feeling emotional and needed to know if Tori would pull through. If she will be okay.

Tori. Oh sweet summer Tori. She really hopes she'll pull through and be okay. She is waiting for a call.

And it shouldn't bother her what her mother thinks about Tori. But it does. It does so much. More then her opinion ever mattered. Sure her mother said bad things about Beck such as, 'pretty boys like him will break your heart' or 'he's hiding something being that hot'.  
But none if that seemed to matter. But as soon as her mother said something about Tori. It stirred up something inside her. Like a match ignoring a fire, ready to burst into flames. And Jade couldn't stand it. So she had to leave before she lashed out at her mother. And wreck all her belonigies. Like she did once before and wrecked her mother's favourite lamp.

She shouldn't let her mother's words get to her. They were just words after all and besides:

'I've got thick skin and an elastic heart, Jade sang to herself. Reminding herself for who she was regardless of what her mother would say.  
'But your blade it may be too sharp. I Am like a rubber band and if you pull too hard I may snap and move too fast'.....again exactly like how Jafe was feeling.

'But you won't see me fall apart cos I've got an elastic heart. 

Jade sang that line over and over again. Reminding herself to forget about her mother. About everyone else who will pass judgement. Shes on a mission to save Tori and thats exactly what she'll do. 

Tori's POV:  
Tori awakes looking around her hospital room.  
'Oh shit, I'm here still..I thought it was all a dream. Well I did hope it was just a dream....but I guess not'  
The doctor on hand in her room must of noticed that she woke up cos she went to go get Trina,Andre and Cat.

'Hey lil sis, your awake. How are you feeling. I've missed you', wrapping Tori up in a hug and giving her a kiss on the cheek. 'I gotta dash but I just wanna see that your okay, mum went to some date with some Gary guy. Oh and Dads away again on some business trip. So it's just you and me now', Trina announced hugging Tori once more before she goes out the door.

'Uhh, sorry about Trina, Andre says trying to lighten the mood. 'Actually Jade told your parents to go away when the doc came to talk to them and herself that day you relapsed and went into a coma or something'.

'Wait, Jade was here. Like after that night....I uhh...we had a kinda fight', Tori looked around the room remeberimg the past evwrns in flashbacks. 'Hey Cat,can you get me a coffee, I need something to deal with this....stuff.

'Kay okay!!', Cat runs off getting. 

Finally alone Tori questions Andre about Jade.

'So she was here, here and defending me against my absent parents??'

'Yea Tahts what's up!' Andre replied.

'So your telling me that Jade abandoned the tough girl look and actually had feelings, actually forgave me for our....uhh....fight. (She decided to leave the bit where they kissed out of it, still not knowing exactly what it meant). And that the girl who I once said was a mean, vicious person with deep physiological problems actually cared enough to stay and help me. Talk to a doctor about my mental health or whatever the fuck happened to me?' Tori asked again still not convinced Jade was capable of that. 

Of feeling care and compassion. And wanting to help someone. And that someone. Out of all people, herself. And especially after what happened between them. Jade still cared. She always cared.

Tori sighed in relief, glad that she didn't fuck up any chance of anything she had with Jade.

'Yea. She seems to care about you alot. She wants to help you. May I ask what has changed between you to latley. I thought she hated you??' Andre questions. 'But since this has all started, with the Sheerwood ganks, Jade has been acting odly concerned' 

'Yea well that surprised me too actually, And well we kinda had a...uhh...a moment so to say. But then I messed it up and I thought I hurt her. So I hurt myself cos I thought she hated me again. And all that progress we made had been for nothing', Tori explained to Andre.

'What do you mean by the moment?', Andre asked but got interrupted by Cat coming back with the coffee Tori requested.

'Toriiii here's your cofeeeeeeee!!!!!, what are you guys talking about right now?' Cat questions.

'Jade!' They both replied together.

'Oooo what about her, oh I know, umm let me think', Cat goes into a big show of tapping her chin to think of what exactly they were talking about when it came to Jade.

This made Tori and Andre giggle.

'Ahh haa, I know, let's talk about the fact that Tori and Jade are awfully close now and how Jade was like super duper worried about Tori, well when, let's be real Tori you were acting like heaps weird, Cat finishes. 'No offense.'

'None taken Cat and yes I'm sorry for acting weird , kkinda. I'm sorry it scared you'.

'Don't be sorry Tori, you can't help how you feel', Andre says.

'Yea!!', Cat agrees. 'And even though Jade's hard to read, I think she likes you Tori, like alot and I know you like her too. Plus you have to admit she's so pretty'. Cat says fluttering her eyelids for emphases in hope her too best friends will be together as long as one admits they like, love the other. 

'Yea Cat but that's not what we were exactly talking about....but yea I guess she is pretty, Tori says shyly. Finally admitting it to her 2 best friends.

'Well what exactly what were youse talking about. Ooo I know the fact that Jade is going to ask you or plan to....to....uhh', Cat stops abruptly. Fingertips hover over her mouth and she stomps her foot. Classic example that Tori knows all to well when Cat accedentky discloses something she shouldn't have.

'What was Jade going to ask me Cat?', Tori questions her.

'Nothing!!!', she all but shouts, making Tori flinch backwards.

Clearly uncomfortable,Andre says something about his grandma calling his cell and dashes out of the room. Leaving the girls all alone.

'Cat, please tell me,', Tori asks nicley. Careful not to hurt Cats feelings. She's sensitive like that.

'Look, I guess it's not really my place to say you should talk to Jadey, okay Tori'.

'Okay I'll talk to her. You sure she's not mad at me though'.

'No!', Cat shakes her head enthusiastically i fear her neck may snap on her.

'Okay I'll talk to her....I guess'.

'Kay, kay....oh no, visiting hours are over. We better go Tori. I'll talk to you later. Cat says whilst giving Tori a big hug.

Andre comes in then. Hugs Tori.

'Just talk to Jade. I promise it'll be fine. Its something good'. Andre says as his parting last words. And with that they walk out together.

Tori is now left alone. Her mind racing. All thoughts of Jade clog her mind.  
'I wonder what she wants to ask me'  
Tori falls asleep. With shouts of Jade swirling around her in dreamland.

Jades POV:

Jade was packing the last of her so called "weird obsessions" when her phone dinged indicated that she got a text.

The name on the screen said Trina Vega. So Jade opened the message instantly knowing it had to be something about Tori.

'Hey Jade it's Trina. Tori is awake. She should be right to talk and have visitors as she was talking to Cat,Andre and I. I didn't tell her u may come. Thought you wanna keep it a surprise for her. With love . Trina xx'

'I'll go to the hospital to see her now. Thanx 😊' Jade replied.

She didn't say exactly what she was thankful for because ultimately she was thankful for all of Trina's help so far. But she feels Thats all said anyway with that text. And besides Jade dosnt get sappy for anyone. Well not any one besides Tori I guess.

Jade drove to the hospital.

Tori's POV:

I awoke with the sound of combat boots clip clipping around my room.ans standing right there  
Was the geourgeous raven haired beauty goth. Jade West, the girl that likes me and I can't help but fall in love with. The girl that despite all I did to hurt her. She still came through for me. To help me. To stand up for me. And now I need to know what she wants to ask me.

Jades POV:

'Hey you', Jade said softly looking at Tori. Right into her chocolate brown eyes. Her beautiful brunette hair touseled down her shoulders. And even in a hospital gown Tori still looked adorable.

'Hey', Tori replied quietly with a lazy stupid goofy grin on her face.

And at the same time as Jade said 

'I wanna ask you something!'

Tori came out with  
'What did you want to ask me??'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the cliff hanger. But this is the second last chapter of this fic. I hope you have all enjoyed their journey. Plus who dosnt stan soft Jade


	13. Chapter 11- Im Aliveeeeeeeeeeeeeee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter of this fic as a whole. But their story wouldn't be over yet. As I have marked this as a series now. I'll work on a sequal one or 2 shot soon. When I can xx. Hope u all enjoyed their story so far.
> 
> TW as it mentions previous self harm

Jades POV:

'Tori basically begged me to ask her what I had to ask her. And gosh she was so cute. With her beautiful brown doe eyes. Still look geourgeous. Even though she may feel small and fragile and broken right now'

'You first!', she said. 'Then I can finally know what Cat was talking about.

'Wait, did Cat tell you? What did Cat say?'

'Oh she told me that you had to ask me something important. So when I finally got t0 see you I was going to ask you. But it looks like you are ready to ask me '.

'Uh, okay. Now I don't wanna scare you or anything....but. I want to know.....would you....maybe....want to move in with me?'.

'Jade, why...me....arnt you mad at me for what happened. Besides you still live at your mom's. I can't just stay there. She dosnt even know me. And i don't think she'll like me being there. Plus I have to go to therapy three times a week and have an in home councillor visit me every morning to make sure I'm surely but slowly getting back into normal life. Plus I have so much work to catch up on. I've missed out on so much!', she shouts worried. Then sighs. Leaning back on her pillow looking defeated.

'Tori, calm down', Jade says softly rubbing Tori's shoulder. (Yes Tori has turned me into a soft sappy love sick puppy). 'I am moving out of my mother's place. I got us an apartment and it's a two bedroom, 1 bathroom, 1 kitchen area. And i would love for you to move in with me....thats only if you want too'. Jade says looking at Tori with her deep green eyes expectantly, begging Tori to say yes.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------  
Tori's POV:  
'I got lost in her eyes first. But then my eyes travelled to her beautiful red mouth I wanna kiss to say thankyou(but I won't admit that yet), her white skin has this beautiful glow under the lights. Then back to her beautiful derp green eyes,piercing through me. And now here I am thinking of that song *your beautiful eyeee...ssss stare right into mineee*, gosh I need to stop getting distracted at her eyes....oh and the pills they got me on....oh yea Jade asked me a question. What was it??'

'Tori, Tori vega, vegggggaaaa!!!!',Jade exclaims rubbing my shoulder, gently shaking it trying to get my attention. 'Did you hear what I asked you? Would you like to move in with me?'.

'This really took me by surprise. Me move in with Jade?? Really. How things have changed within a few months, after Jade essentially hating me, to now wanting me to move in with hher and her looking after my mental health issues.'

'Jade, why. What if I....What if i become a burden to you. I don't want to trouble you...I can't do that.'  
\------------------------------------------------------------  
Jades POV:  
'Aww sweet summer Tori believing that she would be a burden to me. How could she think that when I actually want nothing but to take care of her and nurse her back to her health'

'Tori....you....you will never ever be a burden. I want to help you. To look after you. So please let me. I know we haven't exactly gotton off on the right foot. But I want to be here for you. I want us to start over. Look after each other and be there for each other. And you will never ever be a burden to me. I promise'. Jade says while stroking Tori's hair looking straight into her chocolate brown doe eyes.

'I just don't want to put you through any trouble', Tori says leaning into Jades touch.

'You won't. Trust me. I want to look after you as best I can. So let me okay?' Jade says pulling Tori into a hug. 

'I am so soft for Tori and it kills me. Its all her fault. She made me be this way and it's embrassing and sappy and cute all at the same time' Jade thinks to herself.

'Okay', Tori finally agreed. 'Jade I am tired now. Your welcome to stay but i just need to close my eyes. I'll text u when i wake up okay?', she says sweetly looking up at Jade with her beautiful chocolate brown eyes.

'I should go home and pack my stuff ready for the move, I'll see you later', Jade replied with a hug and a loss on the top of Tori's head then she was out the room.  
Looks over her shoulder at Tori who has already fallen asleep and smiles to herself at how beautiful and peaceful she looks.  
\----------------------------------------------------------  
Jades POV:  
Jade drove home but she couldn't concentrate on the road. All she could think about was the way Tori said yes eventually to moving in...with her? How exciting. But also really fucking scary.

And the fact that she feels as though she may be a burden to Jade. That is what she'll never ever be.  
Jade was trying to figure it all out in her head that she didn't even realize that she was finally at home. Or that her mother's car was again parked in the driveway right at the spot where Jade parks her car.  
'Ughhh fuck sake why did she park the car right where I need to get in and the removalist is coming in like ...3 hours?'

'Mom you need to move your fucking car. The removalist is coming to get my stuff to take to my apartment. You car needs to fuck of!!!'.

'Jade what is your problem?'

'Did you not fucking hear me? I said your car needs to move now. My removalist is coming soon to get all my belongings to take to mine and Tori's new apartment, so move your fucking car now before I smash it!!!' Jade yells angrily.  
'Oh I remember that time I actually did smash a car window. It was the night of the method acting challenge with Sikowitz as his house. Gosh Tori looked so hot and oh so cute as a cop. With the raisin bran obsession. Oh I miss her so much now. And i need my stupid mother yo move her fucking car so I can get the removilist here to pick up my stuff for the apartment'.

'Jade hello, I'm talking to you. Did I hear what I said? I asked if that mental girl decided to finally move in with you? Jade. Answer me you little ungreatful brat. All that I do for you and this is all the thabks I get. You running off with some physco mental girl. How great are you? You ungreatful little brat!!!!' Her mom yells.

'Mom shit the fuck up!!!!! You have no right to call Tori anything like that. You've never even fucking met her. So how dare you say all this shit about her. And i am not fucking ungreatful. You did fuck all for me, except abuse me.....remember? So now I'm going. To have a better fucking life away from you. That you can no longer ruin for me okay? So just move your fucking car like I asked so I can move away from you and start my life far far away!!!!!!!!!!!!' Jade screams. Getting more riled up with each word. That her normally pale face has become red with rage. 'Just move the fucking car before I make a necklace out of your ears!!!!!' 'Just because you and dad have had a shitty marriage and he hates you and barely talk to you, dosnt mean you need to fuck up my life, so move the fucking car, nowww!!!!!'

Jades mom got angry at that display Jade put in that she finally went outside, hopefully to move the car.

Her mother eventually moves the car and by the time she does the removalist has arrived.

'Here's $200 for the whole deed. I don't have much to remove so it shouldn't be that hard to manage or take you guys that long. Please don't fuck it up or you'll have a meeting with my friend Mr.Scissors', Jade says scarily passing the guy 4 $50 notes.  
'Ugh he looks so much like Beck and that's what keeps pissing me off.

The man backs off looking scared for his life. Jade smirks his way, then feels a vibrate from her phone in her back pocket.

It's a text from Tori: 'hey Jade don't want to bother you. But they are thinking of letting me get discharged this afternoon or early tomorrow morning. When will our apartment be ready or do you just want me to stay with Trina for the time being. Let me know. Xx

Jade then reploed: 'hey Vega I'm sure the apartment will be ready by tonight so you can come tomorrow. If u get out before then I'll try to sneak u in my room while mother is asleep and when she's at work we can go to our new home. 😉x'

Tori replied: 'But I don't want you to get in trouble with your mom though. I'll just stay with Trina even if I do get to come out of the hospital today. But it looks as though I'll be out tomorrow morning'

Five minutes later, another text from Tori: 'I'll be discharged tomorrow. I'll call u what time u should/can come to pick me up. See u then xxx'

Jade: 'Okay Vega, sounds perfect see u then x' 

Great this gives Jade the whole afternoon to set up the apartment and make it look as nice as possible. Ready for Tori to join her in their new adventure together. 

Finally the removalist finished moving Jades stuff into her new apartment. It wasn't much to bring. It was only Jades dresser, where she would put her make up and hair stuff. And a small bookshelf. Where Jade puts her iPad and all her school books. It's big enough so Tori can put her books there too. If she wants too. The apartment looked perfect. The double bed she also brought arrived too And Jade put it together all on her own and made it up with fresh sheets ready for Tori and her to sleep in together every night. Jade was so happy and couldn't wait for their future together.

Finally it was nighttime and Jade went to sleep early, knowing that tomorrow will be a busy day for her and Tori.  
\----------------------  
Tori's POV:  
Tori awoke to the sound of the nurses. They came into the room with a doctor and explained to her that in order to go home, She has to sign that she'll have someone with her at all times. And that she promises she'll go to weekly therapy and she will agree that a in home care therapist will come out any any time Tori may need her. And that Tori will take the medications she is prescribed.  
Tori signed all the documents required. Then she texted Jade to let her know its time to pick her up from the hospital.  
\-------------------  
Jades POV:  
Jade couldn't contain her excitement. She is finally going to pick up her girl and startvtgeir brand new lives together. Away from the drama of crazy Trina and Tori's absent parents. And away from the toxicity of Jades home life.  
As soon as Jade got to the hospital and went to Tori's room she was stopped by a doctor. The same one she met earlier when she went to talk about Toris home care plan.

'Hey Jade, I understand you'll be looking after Tori full time. Have you guys got your apartment yet? Just know it is alot to look after someone with mental health issues'

'Yes we have got our apartment. I moved all our stuff in there already. So we are all ready to go. And yes I know it will be hard to look after someone with a mental illness. But like I said before. Tori has never given up in me. So I'm never going to give up on her. I don't want to. I want her so I'll do anything for her.....I love her'.  
'Jade instantly blushes. Not realizing she said that last part out loud. She quickly hides her face but it's too late. The doctor already heard her and gave her a warm smile.

'I'm happy that she has someoen like you to look after her. She has been diagnosed with Depression and BPD disorder, so she'll need to take her medication everyday or it could lead to a relapse and suicidal behaviour. And make sure she is off all the things that trigger her. But besides that I'll sign her off and she should be alright to go home.'

'Thanks Doc. I'll be sure to look after her. I'll do anything for that girl'.

'I'm glad. Well here are all the forms. Just sign it here. Then we can let her go home with you'.

Jade signed all the papers and walked over to Tori's room.

'Hey beautiful. Let's get you home, to our home. You got all your things?'

'Yes Jade, I'm ready when you are', Tori replies smiling. She wraps Jade up in a hug and pulls back, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

'Vega I don't do hugs', Jade reluncticly protest but leans into Tori. They eventually pull apart and start the long drive to the apartment.  
Well it's actually it 20 minutes.

'Get ready Vega. Its a great surprise for you. I can't wait', Jade says softly looking at Tori.  
Gosh Vega making me soft again  
Finally they pull up to the apartment.

'This is where will be living Vega! I hope your excited and ready for it?'

'Yes Jade i can't wait!!' Tori says excitedly.

'Even tho Vega is happy now. She could still be down in moods in a matter Of a second. So I need to tred carefully. That's what depression is like.

They walk into the room and see Jades set up of all the things Jade had in her old room. The fatty lump, the broken bottles. The fetus mouse in a container. 

'You still have that?' 

'Yea why. Do you think I'm weird?'

'No Jade, never . I like weird things too. I'm just not as open about it. But it's cool. I like you the way you are. Never change okay?'

'Okay, Tor, I guess we should finish our packing.'

The girls spent the rest of the day packing. Finally it was dinner time.

They ordered a pizza and ate it whilst talking and working out how to best look after Tori and when she should go back to school.

'I'm so behind at school. I've missed so much. I'm probably gonna have to repeat this whole year' Tori whines.

'Vega, stop. Listen to me. You will be fine. The teachers understand all you went through and they will be here to help you. Also I will be here for you. To help you every step of the way. I promise I won't let anything happen to you.....cos.....I.....ahhh....I......love you Tori, Victoria Vega. And I'll be here always. I'll never ever let you feel alone ever again', Jade says softly wrapping her arms around Tori.

Tori's head leans into the crook of Jades neck.  
Tori then leans up and kisses Jade.

They kiss for a long time. Finally being able to kiss each other. For real this time. All the emotions and pain and hurt and uncertinity poured into the kiss.

They may never know what will happen in the future. But no matter what they will get through it together. Mental health is an ongoing battle. So they decide to take their relationship slow a long with whatever else comes there way. 

But at the end of the day. They are Jade and Tori and no matter what they will make it through anything. Together 🔐🔐❤😘😊

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mental health is an ongoing problem. And you won't always be fixed and okay straight away. I left this fic chapter lioe this ending for a reason. I will soon get started on a sequal of Tori's story as a one or two shot song fic. Soon I'll start writing it. And update when I can I just want to show and spread awareness for mental health. That not all issues could be fixed straight away. It always takes time and that's okay. I hope I did do this justice with this fic.
> 
> Also if any of these topics brought up any issues please reach out to someone. You are not alone ever.


End file.
